Contenment

What do you love?

When you look around yourself, what catches your eye, and makes you feel joy?

How often do you take deliberately take time out of your day to do something that makes you feel Joyful and Content? 

When ever people ask me what I do for a living, I struggle to answer them directly. I instantly doubt myself. What DO I do? 

I find myself feeling embarrassed, ashamed even! That I don't have what is labelled a 'proper' job. 

I don't have a 7 day 9-5 job. I don't have a career.

People raise there eyebrows at me when I sheepishly reply 'nothing'. 

Of course, that isn't true.

I nanny most days, babysit, and of course sew up dolls in any free moment.

 Sure, somedays I do decide to do 'nothing' I enjoy my day, spend time with family and friends.

But when did living, being alive and being happy, become nothing?

When did earning money become more important than being happy?

I did have a full time job, and it made me miserable. I am thankful for the lesson it taught me. 

I only have one life, and I'm not wasting that life being miserable, having regrets on wasted wishes.

It took me along time to realise that when my last day comes, what will I be thankful for? 

Will I be glad I slaved everyday away, with no joy, or happiness?

Or will i find those memories of laughter and dancing?

Of my travels and adventures?

Which is more important?

I decided to take the memories. I earn just enough to pay my parents some rent when I'm home, and save the rest towards travel. 

If being happy, free and full of joy means I am 'poor', or labels me 'unusual' if it means i cant afford those luxuries or fancy clothes, then so be it. 

I welcome it.

And the longer I have been doing 'Nothing' the more I don't WANT anything. 

I'd rather have Life.

Never think that just because you don't fit into the regular society labels, because you are different, un-usual and unique, that you aren't as good as people who strive to be successful, popular and rich.

At the end of the day, who is happiest? The person glad to be in their own skin, accepting themselves and all their quirks, or the person denying them-self, wishing they could be 'better?'

I am still working on being happy in my own skin, but I'm much closer than i was when I was working myself into the ground.

I have so many things in my life to be grateful for, but the thing I am most grateful for is my two, wonderful parents.

Love you Papa, Love you Mother